One Year in Namibia!

So it has been a long time since i have updated—and it will probably be a long time until i do afterwards, so don't worry that its so long!

I can't believe I have been back from the states for two months. The time has flown by—it wasn't hard to readjust to life here. I think that I just can't think of both home and here at one time because they are so different! Except for maybe walking in the sand, my host sisters were just cracking up when I got back and one of the teachers started calling me oshilumbu again (literally translates to: thing white) again. And, I had just convinced her to call me oshibrowna right before I left.

This last trimester has been a bit different—its the end of the year, so people are starting to check out a bit. Grade 10 learners were finished back in october and the rest of them just finished yesterday! Its made getting things done at school a bit difficult, so i have spent most of this trimester thinking about and planning for the projects I want next year. I'm still looking for something big that will take me a whole year but my time is running out.

So, I have been here one whole year and am approaching my halfway point for the end of my service—there are a lot of things that I have grown used to, but in their place, new, and probably more serious things have popped up. Peace Corps staff and ex volunteers always warned us that after a year, we would feel like we knew nothing about our society. I don't feel entirely like that—I know some people pretty well and feel comfortable where I am. But I have learned that there are a lot of things that I have never understood, even from my experiences with culture at home.


New Volunteers!!!!!!

Its strange to realize that I am no longer new here, and this feeling is reinforced by the new volunteers who have just arrived. I met them when I arrived at training—they had only arrived five days before and were just as wide-eyed and scared as I was last year. While I was sort of nostalgic for training, I don't envy them at all! Just knowing where we were and how to interact with people gave us so much freedom, as opposed to last year when we were confined to our training center and really couldn't imagine anything beyond it.

I now have two trainees shadowing me for a week—the prospect of having them here was really exciting, but now that they're here I'm kind of stressed out. They're excited and eager to be here and also excited about their sites. I don't want to ruin that. Also, coming to my site is kind of a step down for them in terms of creature comforts though since both of their sites have running water and electricity in the forms we expect in the states. Its also difficult because I don't want them to judge me as a volunteer, especially when I have days when I doubt myself. (They're not actually judgemental fortunately) I found myself justifying to them why I decided to stay here, in Omuthiya, when I had the option of being at another site with more basic comforts, and it was hard to explain! I have thought about the idea of changing sites or even moving somewhere nicer at my site (there are some flats here that are pretty nice), and I can't bring myself to make it happen. I can't think of any concrete reasons, except for that I am happy where i am, and that's not something to underestimate.

Old Hat

One major thing that marks this one year anniversary is simply the fact that I am used to things were once ridiculous. This is probably what has made my blog entries less frequent—the fact that i have spent several mornings chasing goats out of my homestead (simply because I left the gate open) has sort of seemed normal. In fact goats and chickens have become standard—except for the day that it rained and I found a bunch of goats in the outhouse. That was frightening.

Another thing that has become standard is how no one is going to be on time. Now, since most of you know me pretty well, you know that I am not on time unless I absolutely need to be. Here, no matter how hard I try, I always seem to be early. Usually this is because I have decided to actually show up for an appointment. I guess this is ok, since I might as well enjoy it while it lasts. I should clarify, not everyone is like this here, but when working with the community in Omuthiya, this is how it generally goes. I am currently waiting for a group of people that was supposed to meet at 8 to give me a list of children that should receive teddy bears. One is here, but is leaving. We have 200 bears to donate. She gave us our first five names. AHHHHHHHH!

There are some things that I pretend I'm used to. Like transportation—I am still not used to getting in a taxi, waiting an hour to pile in about 8 people, and then taking an hour and a half to go 70 km. Ahhhh. But, now, at least people know me. Back in the day, they used to not believe me when I said I was going to Omuthiya (Gauri and Stephanie wrote “Omuthiya” down as their destination when they first arrived in Namibia. The guy at the passport desk said to them what everyone says about Omuthiya--”are you sure? why would you want to go there?”) Now, if I'm trying to get a hike anywhere, like, Windhoek, three people stop and ask if I need a hike to Omuthiya. I don't know who you are, how do you know who I am? Its not just me either, for example, those volunteers living in towns find that taxi drivers will know where their house is. In the states, this might be scary, but here it is kind of nice. It feels like people know you, and when people know you, they help you out. Or so i think.

New perspective

There are also a lot of issues that made me really angry. For example, people asking me for ridiculous things. I got blankets donated for Orphans and Vulnerable Children in June, and some teachers continuously asked me for the blankets. Complete taboo to me—you are making a regular salary, why would you want this blanket, which is going to keep some poor child warm for the winter?! I know you already have a blanket. Even now I struggle with reconciling myself with this idea and would never do it myself. However, as I've gotten to know the people in question a bit better, I've gotten a better idea of why something like this might be ok—All of these teachers support children that are not their own (in addition to their own). They don't do this grudgingly, but simply because they are making money. Those who have are simply expected to share. You find people here regularly paying for schooling up to the university level for nieces, nephews and cousins. So if there are blankets sitting there, they should simply be available.

Also, another volunteer gave me some more insight into people asking for something—for people here, asking can be a way to initiate friendship. This is really unusual for me since both of the cultures I come from frown upon asking for things—if you want to be friends with someone, you give them something (information, invite them somewhere, etc). Here, asking can mean you trust the person to give you something quality (i.e. That won't kill you). That doesn't mean I always give something to everyone, but it does mean I ask for a lot more! Aha.

Another thing that I have found difficult is the generalizations people make here—about each other, themselves, and Americans. In general, I don't like generalizations (ahaaha, i just made one), but in my first three months here, I found myself making them.. about Ovambos, Namibians, Southern Africans, Americans, and on and on. It took a heated discussion with another volunteer who had been here much longer to realize what pattern I was getting myself into—when people here say things like “Oh, us Africans, we cannot do this...” and nothing is getting done, sometimes its easy to think, yeah maybe you're right. Of course, it helps that I know many Africans who accomplish a lot and ultimately it just becomes frustrating because people use these generalizations to make excuses for themselves. Its even more frustrating because they often truly believe them.

The only way I can think of to avoid these is to remember that I really only know about the north of Namibia, and that there are always exceptions to every generalization. It also helps that people here constantly make generalizations about Americans, based on none other than, tv and movies. Oh yes, and their interactions with Peace corps volunteers who are obviously very typical in US society.

Self-Imposed Boundaries

Ultimately, I have found that its easy here to find things acceptable that you wouldn't think are ok in the states. In some ways this a good thing, like when I am riding in a taxi, or when I don't want to kill my Meme for waking me up at 5 in the morning to borrow some salt. In other ways, I have decided that I need to draw a line even when Namibians don't understand it. Basically, I've decided that I'm not a cultural relativist. This is kind of a strong statement because it means that I don't think all things are ok because a certain culture decides that it is acceptable. Well ok, i am a cultural relativist to a certain extent, but there are certain issues where I draw the line—like sexual harassment, abuse, murder, theft, etc. etc. It seems like these are easy boundaries, but here, I find that when it comes to gender relations they are not. Our definition of sexual harassment would get a lot of men arrested here—and it would not be accepted by some women also. When I first arrived here, it seemed to me that most women were content to be with men who dated other women regularly (even to the extent that they would have several live in girlfriends) or even beat them. There have been situations where I found myself conforming to this and feeling bad that I was “overreacting” to situations that were normal here in Namibia. However, upon closer inspection, it seems to be a situation that they simply accept b/c they don't see another option. This doesn't mean that all women are unhappy, but it does mean that a lot of them are living with situations that they would change if they felt like they could. Ultimately, to react negatively to these situations however, is pretty much looked down upon. After a lot of thought and talking to some other volunteers, this is one situation where I have decided that I will not conform with the culture here. Fortunately, there are at least a few people that agree with my perspective and some others who never thought about it before and don't exactly hate it. I hope that by maintaining my perspective I will be able to change at least a few minds here!

Ultimately, I've accomplished a few things in this year, both personally and professionally. I've had to constantly remind myself of such accomplishments the days, like this one, that I am just sort of sitting around waiting for someone I made an appointment with to show up. I think the one thing that I am most proud of that I've managed to stay reasonably optimistic most of the time— both about people in general, and that these women might just show up in the next few hours.